This is my “homework” for week two of “Rediscovering Relationship with Self”.
Reflect and Journal about an experience when you worked in a spiritual gift area that is one of your LOWEST scored areas. What did it feel like to work in that arena? Was it frustrating to try to arrive at a successful outcome?
Last week, part of our assignment was to take a “Spirituality Inventory”, which addressed 25 “spiritual gifts”. The highest score possible for a gift was a 15. The lowest possible score was a big fat 0. On eight of the gifts, I scored a 6 or less. The lowest scoring gifts for me were celibacy and tongues which each scored ZERO. I got a 2 in healing, and a 4 in hospitality. Other areas in which I received low scores are: Apostle, Mercy, Multi-Cultural Ministry, and Prophetic Teaching.
So… I’m trying to remember EVER working in one of those areas!
I suppose I can recall two experiences/jobs working in areas for which I had a low score. But as I address these here, I have to begin with the observation that there are numerous things that impact these spirituality inventories. I’ve been taking them for over 20 years. Spiritual Gifts change. Or at least some of them do. Some gifts may remain high throughout our life; some gifts may be given us by God at a particular time to accomplish a particular thing. For everything there is a season… Furthermore, moods that we are in can impact our answers. As can emotional states. And, frankly, most questions in these inventories have an implied answer if one knows where to look.
For instance, twenty years ago, taking one of these inventories I would have answered that celibacy was relatively high in the scorings. I wanted to be accepted to seminary; I wanted to be a priest; I wanted to run/hide from my own knowledge of who and what I am; and I believed what I was told about being Gay being hated by God.
And so, I spent two years “working in a spiritual gift area” that was, at the time scoring high, but in reality, looking back over my life, about as low scoring as you can get! Was it frustrating? Oh, yeah! It was just plain wrong of me to work in that area. It felt horrible!
Perhaps a slightly better example was when I worked for a semester in Hospital Ministry. I don’t recall what my "healing/mercy” scores were back at that time. Today they’re pretty low. I ASKED to work in Hospital Ministry. I thought it would be a good experience. I was wrong. It was my job to go to the rooms of patients, and, well, minister to them. I think all in all it was a good experience for me, stretched my horizons, as I hoped it would. And the experience taught me that hospital ministry was just not the place for me. It was so hard to go into those rooms, talking to people I didn’t know, people suffering and frightened. Far from putting them at ease, they or their families, often had to put ME at ease! I honestly don’t know who was more frightened! Fortunately for me, my supervisor soon picked up on my weakness. She assigned me to one particular patient, a young man with AIDS, a young man who could not make the trip in to the hospital, and so I would go to his house. We got along fine, I wasn’t frightened, I enjoyed the experience, and to be honest, was ministered to far more than I ministered.
Journal about an experience when you worked in a spiritual gift area that is one of your HIGHEST scored areas. What was that like? How did it feel to work within and succeed in that area?
My highest scores (12 and above – none received a 15) from highest to lowest are in Giving, Knowledge, Martyrdom, Wisdom and Teaching. About that Martyrdom, go figure!
When it comes to teaching, I can’t really figure that one out, any more than I can figure out why I score so high in Martyrdom. I’m an impatient teacher, at best. To the extent that teaching involves public speaking, I’m horrible! And when it comes to hands on teaching, well, I’m not too good at that, either. Knowledge and wisdom, in this context have to do with things of a spiritual nature. I’m not sure I could say I’ve ever actually worked in these areas!
But giving, while “working in this area” is somewhat problematic, it is an undeniable gift for Scott and I both. We firmly believe that all our income is a gift from God, and as such is not to be horded. About five years ago, Scott and I made a conscious decision that we would “work towards” giving a tithe, and in short order had rearranged our living to accommodate this. We gladly give 10% of all income that comes our way… a little more in fact. On top of that, we’ve been able to see needs at church and meet those needs… gifts above and beyond our weekly giving. Sometimes well beyond. A total look at tax time at our levels of giving show that combined we give closer to 15% of our gross to our church. I’m a bit less charitable towards non-church related causes.
I truly enjoy being blessed enough to give at the levels that I do. I know that in doing so, I enable our church to more fully reach out to the needs of our community. Our gifts, together with many other peoples, enables our church to reach out and minister not only to the spiritual needs, but the physical as well, of people living with HIV and AIDS, to the homeless, and to the many disenfranchised members of our society. It feels good!
This is a current area that maximizes my use of my strongest gift. Even with my own sense of connectedness to our church and indeed to God, I continue to work in this area. It feeds my soul, it strengthens my faith. It builds me up even while benefiting and building up the church. I’m pleased beyond measure that Scott and I while not lessening our giving by 1 cent, are no longer even close to being the only significant supporters of our church, and I can pray and praise God that others find joy, partly through our example, partly through a competitive desire, have found joy and blessing in abundant giving to God through MCC Omaha.
On The Road II 