May I take a moment to post a little rant? I hope so.
As I begin my rant, let me say this quite clearly: Omaha World Herald, I hope you do some kind of daily yahoo or google search to determine what your readers think of you. Why? Because YOU HAVE A REALLY STUPID POLICY!
I’m specifically writing about your online subscription policy. I don’t mind paying for an online subscription. I don’t mind paying full price for an online subscription. What really has my shorts in a bunch today, you idiots, is that not only do I have to pay full price for an online subscription, but I also have… HAVE… as in AM OBLIGATED TO… take delivery of your paper daily. So, for two weeks, your papers pile up on my front porch (where they are hidden from the neighbors view by a nice brick wall) until the bi-weekly collection of paper recyclables here in Council Bluffs.
World Herald Management, do you have ANY IDEA HOW INCREDIBLY STUPID THIS is? Do you have any idea how WASTEFUL this is? How many trees am I, through YOUR stupid, STUPID, incomprehensible policies responsible for killing every month?
I want the Sunday paper. I faithfully read the daily papers online, but I want the SUNDAY paper physically in hand. Why don’t you bozos save YOURSELF money, ME the hassle of tons of unwanted paper, the LANDFILLS the burden of my unwanted papers? How hard is it for you to figure this out? If you want, I’ll be glad to hire myself out to you for $100 an hour to figure out a method of working around this STUPID STUPID STUPID policy of yours. I can guarantee you you’ll only spend $100. ‘Cause I have the answer for you. My neighbors 8 year old would have the SAME answer for you. This is not rocket science. I have a better idea. Instead of complaining about the high costs of running a newspaper, and cutting off an entire section of the state of Nebraska from home delivery of your paper, since they seem to want it, why don’t you get off your rumpuses, DO YOUR BLASTED JOB, and fix this? It is not hard. Repeat after me: It.Is.Not.Hard.We.Can.Do.It!
You CAN do it! YES YOU CAN!
Sigh, since the OWH is run by overbloated corporate executives with their heads up their… dark unsunny places… I doubt they’ll ever do it. I dare you! Prove me wrong! Of course, my huge readership of, what… thirteen?… readers will be waiting with baited breath for your compliance. No, wait, they better not. I value them too highly!
Okay, now for the survey part of this: Faithful readers, tell me about your gripes with stupid, resource wasting, money wasting practices! I’ll post them here! Really. I will!
UPDATE: I decided to do something other than rant. I wrote to 3 of the senior staff at OWH. Their Circulation Director, VP of Sales & Marketing, and Executive Editor. I didn’t rant. I was nice! Perhaps a little cheeky. See for yourself:
Gentlemen,
First, I’d like to compliment you on the quality of your newspaper. I think overall you all are doing a wonderful job!
Second, I’d like to compliment your circulation department for the high quality of service you provide. I just got off the phone talking with one of your very friendly, very courteous people who, unfortunately was not able to help me. I’m impressed because generally speaking, when one deals with big "faceless" corporations such as yourselves, courtesy and friendliness are frequently lacking. But this brings me to the real point of my email.
I receive your paper 7 days a week. I really only WANT to receive it on my front porch on Sundays, as I read it online the other 6 days. There’s something nice about sitting with the paper and a cup of coffee with my partner on Sunday mornings. The rest of the week, your paper sits, piling up in useless, WASTEFUL heaps on my front porch.
So, I called to ask how we could stop this waste of paper, but was told that if I want to be able to read the paper online Monday through Saturday, I have to also receive the hardprint version on those days. Now, gentlemen, just about everyone I know from the age of 4 through 104 recognizes that this is a frivolous, costly waste of resources. It really is, excuse the strong language, very, very stupid.
I would happily pay the full subscription fee for the ability to take Sunday delivery, but only have online access M-S. Surely, you have bright, intelligent people on your staff that could figure out how to accomplish this. You might suggest a brain-storming session to determine the best way to STOP wasting YOUR money, MY back, AND the landfill’s space, to STOP wasting the natural resources of this country. To STOP killing unnecessary trees, to STOP wasting the fuel required to transport stacks of unwanted newspapers from your printer to my delivery person, from my delivery person to my door, and from my door to the landfill.
I’d bet you that brainstorming session would last less than 10 minutes.
If your bright intelligent people have better things to do with their time than figure this out, I am available for a small fee, to provide consultation services.
Sincerely,
Eric L. Hays-Strom
On The Road II 