Hello all. It’s been about a month, now; a busy month. Scott and I have been struggling to get the new bath done, and we ARE making progress (I tell myself), just very slow progress. And it’s tiring progress. It’s amazing how much each weekend takes out of me.
The foot is slowly recovering. This past week, Roger (my manager) and I actually were able to go for one of our longer, 2 mile lunchtime walks. But my foot has now turned into a weather vane. I know when weather is changing. Yesterday, the blasted thing had me limping like I’d just broken it!
As to our Thanksgiving, well, it was just another day (off) for the two of us. Our initial plans fell through at the end of October; our secondary plans fell through a week later. And our fall back plans just cancelled 10 days before Thanksgiving. We had turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes, with pumpkin pie, sitting on our sofa (can’t get to dining room table right now.) We were going to work on tiling, but neglected to stop at the hardware store on Wednesday to get what we needed. We were going to winterize the trailer, but ran into high winds and other problems. So we cleaned the living room and the upstairs bath.
Friday, we took the girls to the vet for their annual vaccinations, and for checkups and that kind of thing. Then we went shopping. Not “Black Friday” kind of stuff… hardware to work on tiling and food for the girls and new pillows. Then, my foot was screaming at me, so I spent rest of evening with it up.
I don’t suppose I need to explain the difference between strategy and tactics… but I will… lightly. Strategy, roughly defined, is the “Big Picture Plan.” It’s where we want to be at the end of a particular period. It’s a war won, a trip or goal to be achieved, or the like. Tactics are the little “battles” we fight along the way. To win a war, one generally wants each battle fought to be fought on one’s own terms. A tactic for achieving a goal is the microcosmic step. “Next weekend we’re driving to California (strategy). Saturday, we’re getting up early, leaving the house by 6 am, and stopping for the night in Salt Lake City (tactic).” This leaves a little to be desired, but YOU get the picture, right????? Right.
So, now we come to that request. I am asking ALL of my praying friends and family (which I do believe is just about all of you) for prayers for discernment for Scott and I. We’re considering a tactical separation of sorts. Not with regards to our marriage, but geographically. We’re beginning to think it might be good for Scott to go on to New Mexico next spring to pursue his education, while I remain at home in the Omaha area and hold down my job.
See, in two years (or three) when Scott has his MA and PhD, he may or may NOT want to stay in Las Cruces. He will want to go where the jobs are… to run a museum. It may be in Las Cruces, El Paso, Los Angeles or Anchorage Alaska for all we know.
All along, the plans have been for us to go down to Las Cruces, both get jobs; but in my mind it also was to settle… for good. Buy a home, and live out my days in the pleasant, but desert like clime of the Southwest. I was even prepared to cash in part of my retirement funds to pay for a house… that made a little bit of sense… but only if we stay in LC the rest of our lives, or a substantial portion thereof.
The new thoughts now involve me staying here, and getting REALLY, REALLY frugal, so that I can travel to LC every two months to see Scott and Scott can travel to Omaha in the intervening months to see ME. That makes it almost doable.
And all this will work, still, because I know this: For 54 years that I have been walking on this earth, God has taken care of me. God has taken care of Scott and I in our lives together. Blessing has flown into blessing, and hopeless thoughts have coalesced into great hope, and the realization of that hope.
And that brings me to the reason for my prayer request. I don’t know if I’m considering this separation now because there is merit to the plan, or if I’m considering it because my faith in God’s continuing blessing on me and Scott is fading. I think I still believe that, if God has truly blessed us as fully as God has for this past half century, why in Heaven’s Name would God STOP blessing us fully now? I’m almost positive I still believe that!
But, maybe these doubts, as such they are, are arising because God is saying “Hey, you will be together, but to move on, you need to do this separation thing… it IS how I am BLESSING you!”
So, the floor is now open for guidance and prayers. I will listen. I’ll probably do a lot of “Yeah, but…” But that’s just me. I WILL listen. Because I’ve learned that God speaks to us not only from Scripture, but from the mouths of friends and family, and sometimes total strangers.
Thank you in advance for your prayers!
On The Road II 
Eric,
To say that you have almost shocked me would be a bit of an understatement. I guess you wanted to unveil your “potential separation” plans at a time when it made the most sense to you – and obviously, that is NOW.
First and foremost, as one of your “praying friends” I WILL honor your request and continue to pray for you, for Scott, for discernment and for directions. Notice that I said “continue to pray” for you — I am already doing so( as you well know) and have been for quite some time, as something needs immediate prayers (like your foot) and now will continue those prayers but will cast a wider net of true discernment.
I would suggest that you expect this discernment to perhaps to come slowly — more like a snail, rather than a high wind!! Sometimes the best discernement takes time and makes you REALLY want an answer. Look for possible answers in small things — it may not be that you will “wake up one day and know EXACTLY what you are led to do. However, I also believe that that could happen!!!!
Looking into the future is so challenging. There often is not a clear crystal ball that points us up, down, sideways or to another state.
May both of you be open to what you discern, even if it presents more questions.
In my mind, and in my heart, I KNOW that you and Scott are strong enough as a couple that a separation would not jeopardize the relationship you have built. It will change it, but it will not jeopardize it.
Rejoice in the knowledge that you will be led to what is best for both of you. Please, my dear friend, keep us posted.
Much Love,
Tony Harris
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HI Tony,
Thanks for the prayers! You’re one of those constants in our life… we know that we can count on you for your prayers on a regular basis.
I certainly know, or at least strongly suspect, that the answer to this will not come overnight. We may not know until next May or June! And, no matter what we do, me being me, I will second guess the decision for a long time afterwards!
But, as usual your response is wise and considered.
Love to you sir!
Eric
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This is important news! You are in my prayers and I will send you my thoughts in a private email. God bless you!
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Hey Pilgrim,
Sometimes we have to speak, and even use words. It is always hard to discern God’s will for us, whether to do this thing or that, or move here or move there. I guess you are coming to a cross roads of sorts, and your news of a split up for education and/or work is in the pike. I would say that for each of you – that is discernment of what to do next may involve doing the next right thing as it presents itself. I cannot advise whether this decision is good or bad or will have consequences of living so far apart for an extended period of time. So I can only add to your prayer warrior list. You both have good heads on your shoulders and you have faith. What ever happens will happen, as long as we remember that it is God’s will and not ours in the end. Where you go, I will follow.
Jeremy
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Thank you for your wise words, fellow Pilgrim! I welcome you to the team!
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